January 17, 2017
I always find it difficult, to define what signifies a passing year. What to say about 2016? The year of changes, of identity struggles, awakening of the authentic self and friendships come and gone, and re-membered. Deep beliefs and values have been forced to be reevaluated. Last year, 2016, I witnessed the results of the fear of human beings and their choices. Reminds me of Krishnamurti’s words – choices made upon confusion lead to even more confusion.
At the same time, being aware of ones confused mind, may create frustration, and an opportunity to grow. It is said, chaos, is the nature of Nature. Chaos, is Her way of coming to an equilibrium, into balance. So when we’re not in sync with her flow, she expresses herself as frustration, and eventually she erupts, for the sake of balance. And it has been crazy! Many new things have emerged.
The world has witnessed a refugee crisis still unresolved. And Trump is elected president. Up until the end, I thought it was all a really bad joke. I’ve watched Cowspiracy and HUMAN and Before the Flood, coming to an even deeper understanding of how we are all connected to each other and Mother Earth. I’ve watched all the Harry Potter movies wishing I too could be a skilled and brave magician with a purpose in life in line with the Gods – despite knowing it is more fancy on the big screen. It’s been a year of struggle, worries and setbacks, but with this came determination, sincere practice and a stronger sense of steadiness and ease. I remember the year of hardship and questioning who and what to trust. It brought the beginning of new friendships and the ending of new friendships (this is not a mistype). Learning what an authentic self really means and moving in accordance with it, even when it was painful. I could not afford to be anything less. I am work in progress, remembering the power of prayer, and praying in completely new ways. I’m not here for me, but being loving with myself and happy helps the Ego soften her grip and makes the me stronger.
I saw the Soundtrack of Dharma come to life, tanks to stubborn talented people. Who ever thought…
I finally read the whole book of Sex at Dawn, by Christopher Ryan and Cacilda Jetha. Probably one of the most important books I could ever read, (I say now), creating sense and understanding of relationship and the unrealistic standards of relationship.
And so I ended the year in great anticipation of the next. Although it’s all symbolic – Nature abides by no manmade calendar or rules – it still introduces a fresh start with new possibilities and new beginnings. We are, once more, presented with a chance to create and re-create our lives on a larger scale – being ”on top of the year”. The thing is, that the larger perspective, the future, is now, as is the past. There IS always a new beginning, we just get into habit really quickly.
2017 – Just the newness of that number, makes a difference. My focus this year continues on authenticity, creative endeavors that are in line with my dharma and being aware of relationships, which we are constantly in. We are constantly relating, we are never not doing it. What would happen to our Self, to our mind, if we start becoming really aware of this fact? How would our actions change, or would they? Everything is, because everything is. There is always a push and pull. There is always a seam, between meeting occurrences. If I was the thread, how would I arrange this connection? Or do I?
The practice of Yoga, or any self-study, is for the sake of seeing more clearly. I read recently (not remembering from which book since I read 15 books at time – not kidding), that however much one wishes for connection with the Heavens – a clear perception of Reality – that opening can burn ones eyes (no it wasn’t in the Gita this time). So I ask myself and wonder, am I strong enough to withstand Truth, and the penetrating force of that Light? Again, it is not as sexy as Superman sleighing the bad alien, or Neo reseting the machines, or Harry Potter in dual with Lord Voldemort, but they do illustrate the Seeing clearly and with that the knowledge of what needs to be done. Their fear and courage coincided, both good and evil resided within. And they died at the end, transcending the world of the senses, (well except for Harry who went along and had a family). All the gods and all the demons are within, that is the battlefield, therein lies the most important relationship of all.
It is not a relationship in isolation. We have this silent conversation with Divine Awareness, in togetherness.
May we all see more clearly.